Macari makes an excellent argument for all women to explore within to find their Divine Feminine and take that to their pregnancy and birthing experience in order to have ‘Spirit’ present at the birth rather than “reducing it to a bodily function”, which unfortunately is exactly what happens in the majority of births today.

Reducing childbirth to a mere bodily function requires the same level of disconnect that casual sex requires, according to Macari. If women were to understand their value and worth, have self esteem and confidence, then they could stand up for themselves in childbirth and take back the right to choose and “demand respect, choices and freedom”.

Macari also explores pain in childbirth and never denies that childbirth has extreme sensations that some may call painful, but she continues to reiterate the idea that we do not have words in our language to describe these sensations. They are overwhelming and yes, sometimes painful, but they can also be pleasurable if women do not have preconceived notions about pain.

Macari describes childbirth as a rite of passage into womanhood, motherhood and more. Part of what makes childbirth a rite is courage in the face of pain and even compares it to walking hot coals that requires courage and the support of others to get through the rite and the very act of facing your fears and making it through to the other side is the magical, spiritual and transformational part of childbirth that is so often taken from us when our babies are violently taken from our drugged bodies in a hospital setting.

Macari also goes on to credit pain with being the very thing that makes birth possible. Without the contractions, the baby will never leave it’s mother’s body. She is adamantly opposed to the use of pain relief in childbirth, not because women should feel pain, but because of what it takes away from childbirth such as a woman’s instincts and inner strength to know what is right for the birthing process as well as the endorphins that create the natural “high” that is only present in natural births.

One of the most useful parts about “She Births” are the meditation and journaling sections at the end of each chapter. These are wonderful both for expecting women to really explore their feelings and perceptions about childbirth, but it also allows women who were robbed of their rite to find some comfort and perhaps some peace from what went wrong.

There is also a decent sized section in the book that contains natural childbirth stories which are always great to read and none are the gruesome medical childbirth stories that we dread. Some might even bring a tear to your eye. “She Births” is empowering and enlightening and will encourage any women who instinctively knows that childbirth is much more than a medical event to stand up and take back childbirth.

“She Births” is not a “how to” manual for natural childbirth but it does answer the question “why have a natural childbirth” from a fresh perspective. Childbirth is so much more than the physical act, and women have the unique and unparalleled opportunity to be the vessel that the spirit travels through to bring a new life into the world.

I would recommend this book for any woman who felt something intangible was missing from a previous childbirth or who knows that their rite of passage was taken from them during a previous childbirth. This is an excellent resource to work through childbirth trauma and find forgiveness. Even more importantly, this book should be required reading for any woman who is pregnant or planning to become pregnant and understands that there is an intangible spiritual side to life, birth and death that we can either deny or embrace fully to provide ourselves and our babies with the best, most joyous, fulfilling Birth possible.

If you would like to learn more about Marcie Macari and Shebirths, visit shebirths.com
Buy the book: She Births: A Modern Woman’s Guidebook for an Ancient Rite of Passage

Even though the mother is on her back, she is clearly in control of the situation, no one is messing with her body (no interventions) and she is clearly ecstatic to see her new baby. It is an absolutely beautiful video and I love it. It is heartwarming and wonderful.

One of the sections of the study is titled “Birthrape”. I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up as I read that. I proceeded to immediately Google the term “Birthrape” and the results I found brought tears to my eyes. The most moving is A Different Kind of Pain in Childbirth by navelgazingmidwife which is a series of statements that she heard other midwives say (and do) during actual births. You simply have to read this and understand that this sort of things happens all the time.

According to the navelgazingmidwife, Birthrape is:

“The experience of having fingers, scissors, and/or tools put/pushed/shoved inside a woman’s vagina or rectum without her direct (or indirect) permission. Being coerced, manipulated, or lied to regarding the health and safety of the baby or themselves so the midwife is able to do something to the mother’s vagina, rectum, cervix, or perineum, usually with excuses; rarely with apologies.

Some find the definition expanded to: The midwife taking the woman’s Power by using disparaging comments, unsupportive expressions, speaking around her as if she is unable to hear or process requests or information.

Even though consent forms are signed in the hospital, birth center, and at home, consent for care does not include the manipulations or coercive words to get women to obey the caregiver.” - A Different Kind of Pain in Childbirth

The word “rape” has passed through my head about a million times since the birth of my daughter almost three years ago despite the fact that I have never in my life heard that word in conjunction with birthing. I was shocked, humiliated and horrified by the violent, cruel and indifferent treatment that I received by my midwife during my daughter’s birth. While it was probably the most disturbing and traumatic part of her birth, it was the part that people around me did not want to hear about it after the birth. I have replayed that evening in my head thousands of times, wondering what I could have done differently to prevent the unthinkable. I have wondered hundreds of times what I could have possibly done to that woman to make her hate me so much. Did I do something during the prenatal visits? Does she treat everyone that way? Was it really only in the interest of time?

Sure, she had an appointment to get to, but to physically violate someone in the most violent and intimate way….. How could another human being with a conscience, a soul, do that to another? How is it legal to violently rape and even mutilate another human being for any reason, during any circumstance? That question will haunt me forever. Do we somehow stop being people because we are delivering a baby? If a stranger would have done the same things to my body that the midwife did, he would go to jail for 20 years for aggravated sexual battery. My midwife walked away, made it to her morning appointment and got paid for it.

This is an everyday reality of childbirth in America. It is so prevalent, most likely because of the inherent conflict of interest built into the current birthing system: births can take days and childbirth practitioners and facilities want it over in less than 24 hours, preferably less than 8. I still have to wonder if there isn’t more to the story than that, however. Something makes me believe in my heart that the childbirth “care”givers (and I use that term loosely) believe in their heart of hearts, that women somehow deserve this degrading and violent treatment for getting pregnant in the first place.

Maybe I have thought too much about it. Maybe they really are in such a damn rush that they feel they can do whatever it takes to expedite the process. What disturbs me the most is that (no offense guys) women are doing this to each other! I just cannot imagine violating another human being this way but to do this to a sister who went to you in good faith and put the well being of herself and her baby in your hands…….ladies, you should be ashamed of yourselves.

For me, there is simply no way I will trust another “care”giver to touch me again (unless I get hit in the head with a brick and marry a OBGYN), any more than a rape victim will visit the same dark parking lot where her brutal attack occurred. If I have the opportunity to give birth again, I will choose unassisted childbirth for myself but if I do decide to have an attendant present, I would choose a lay midwife who was willing to wait 3 days, not do any pelvic exams, not touch the umbilical cord (at all) and let me “catch” my own baby. What are the odds of finding her? One in a thousand? One in ten thousand? More?

Lastly (and perhaps this is PTSD speaking), I wont ever undergo another pelvic exam if there is any possible way I can stop it. The threat of cervical cancer is much less frightening than letting anyone that I don’t love and who doesn’t love me anywhere near my body. I will never give “them” another chance to hurt me, violate me or go anywhere near my holiest of holies. All you “care”givers out there can take that to the bank.

A doula is a professional that is trained to handle the non-clinical aspects of labor. She is familiar with the process of childbirth and how to guide you through the progression of labor with effectiveness. This is the only experienced professional who stays with the mother from the time her labor is active, until after the baby is born.

Here are 5 reasons you will want a doula by your side:

1. You will have professional help in developing a birth plan, as a doula assists the new parents in understanding all the available options

2. You will have an experienced professional by your side continuously during labor

3. You will be physically comforted by the doulas comfort measures, including warm compresses, massage, relaxation and breathing techniques

4. Your partner will have support and guidance in how to help you during labor

5. The couple will have a beautiful account of what happened during labor, as a doula will keep a record and many mothers lose focus of the time

These are just a few things that a doula can do for you!

Here is what Jacksonville moms are saying about having a doula for their birth:

“She [our doula] provided us with important prenatal information and practice relaxation techniques that assisted my husband and me to feel prepared for the birth.”

“The positive outcome of our labor was directly impacted by our doula’s birthing expertise and her ability to assist me in managing my labor. We would not have been able to have a natural, non-medicated delivery without our doula!”

“This was the best money we spent when preparing for our new baby!”

Educate yourself and hire and doula to help you have a shorter, easier birth and a wonderful birth experience.

About the Author:
Sita Payne Romero, LMT, CD
Sita specializes in preparing expectant mothers to have a comfortable pregnancy, and achieve their ideal birth experience. She is a certified doula, a licensed and certified pregnancy massage therapist and a prenatal yoga teacher. She owns a private practice in Jacksonville, FL. For more information, and helpful articles please visit www.lotusinbloom.net

Sheryl’s comment:
If you have an unassisted home birth then you wont have to worry about a nurse hooking you up to a monitor and leaving you alone for 16-18 hours. That said, if you insist on a hospital birth, get a doula. I mean it. Get a doula. She very may well be the only hired person who cares about you and your needs.

Buy the Book: Doula: We Couldn’t Have Done it Without You
Image Source: http://flickr.com/photos/plamenstoev/2457839884/